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Old Parents: Abandoned In Foreign Land? Now what?(Part 1)

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Abandoned Parents In Foreign Land?

Introduction

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We came across one story by Mrs. Gitu Randev, who had shared her first-hand experience of getting promised of Golden future as a Senior Citizen, in the USA.

But, when their work as helper got reduced due to their old age and grown-up grandkids, they were shunted out of the house.

They are shown the door, in a foreign land, by their own daughter, who at a younger age sucked up all the resources like money and love to be independent.

But when it was time to pay back in her parent’s old age, they were kicked out of their lives, to fend for their lives.

Team Explicit Facts would like to appreciate the courage shown by the author, who boldly shared her life experience with her own daughter, without any hesitation or what the world will think about her.

Please do read this story with an open mind and clarity that such incidents may happen to you too.

Real-Life Story

I and my husband being in the 60s migrated to the USA based on family sponsorship.

We stayed put with our daughter and son in law till we had a green card and kept visiting India, every 6 months.

We helped our daughter to give birth to 2 children, did all household chores, did all jobs in the house, cooking, cleaning, taking care of children, etc.

But, after the children grew up, we were feeling left out, disrespected, taunted, and so on.

Our son in law was playing dirty games, to torture us without the knowledge of our daughter, and when confronted, he pretended innocence.

We were crying silently, as we were brought to the USA with a promise to stay permanently.

Anyways, one fine morning, things became clear, and suddenly we were asked to leave the house immediately.

Shocked and being helpless, with no job, no mobile, no money, we contacted our known contact in Kentucky, who offered to adjust us there.

We left the house with a heavy heart.

We reached Kentucky from Missouri, stayed with a friend for few days, had no car, no automobile, no driving license, no USA experience, but kept on trying for a job in winter season walking in the snow, and finally landed a job in Walmart ad maintenance associate (means Janitors).

Duties included cleaning restrooms, clearing all trash inside and outside, mopping and cleaning floors, very tough jobs for me, and my husband being both in 65 plus age.

Our personalities project us as a handsome and dashing couple with administrative types and educated looks.

Many people questioned us what forced us to take up this job, but we had no answer, as we had to fill our tummies with food from the money we made from this job.

We worked 3 and half years in this job, drained our bodies, injured our knees, no doubt got settled, took an apartment on rent, bought an automobile, made driving license, and got settled.

Finally, Walmart announced the closure of this branch.

We were jobless, could not do any other job because of knee issues.

We did not get any sitting jobs for 6 months.

Funds finished, old age health issues cropped up with no medical insurance and broke.

We took OCI and came back to India to the same place in Delhi, which we had left a decade ago to settle in the USA as promised by our daughter.

We are U.S. citizens, but our old age experience in the USA is alone, isolated, and thrown out of the house by our daughter and son in law, with no jobs, has taught us more lessons at this final sunset years.

We are in India now adjusting to a normal life, crying, and regretting why we decided to immigrate to the USA on the false and cheated promised our own daughter.

Our experience as an old couple to be the USA alone is horrible and still gives us daily goosebumps. 

Lessons Learned.

The Invisible Problem. Many a time young couples themselves want to shift abroad for a better life. But due to various problems, they themselves fail to shift abroad.

So, when they themselves become parents, they bring up their kids with the sole aim of making them capable enough so that they manage to shift abroad for golden life or catch up with their parent’s UNFULFILLED DREAMS.

Once their kids settle abroad, then they will call them and help them live the old age in the “Golden Times”. To make that possible, they end up pumping their life’s savings in sponsoring the permanent shifting abroad.

We have seen many old couples, selling off their houses and land, just to ensure the smooth transition of their kids in a foreign land.

But, once their sons and daughters shift abroad and settle down, then instead of working hard to help their parents also shift abroad and join them, they start considering their old parents as a burden and unwanted responsibility.

Special mention to their spouses, who have not witnessed the sacrifices of the old couple in helping their partner to shift abroad and settle down. For them, the old couples are just like burdens, who are sucking the resources bought from the hard-earned money of their partner.

Their spouse just fails to realize the contribution, of the old couple, who had sacrificed everything to ensure smooth shifting and settling of their partner abroad (maybe with a hope that in the appropriate time, it will be repaid back in the form of love and care during their old age.

Nowadays parents need to decide at a noticeably young stage of their parenting that whether they are okay with their kids shifting abroad.

Don’t Trust Your Own Blood! Life has become so fast and furious due to cut-throat competition in the open market, that nowadays youngsters prefer to sacrifice their parents for the sake of extracting money, property, or help in upbringing up newborn babies than to work hard and face the life problems on their own.

Maybe this is what they learned from their parents while growing up with them.

Whatever may be the reason, the old parents need to think about their own life and welfare, before jumping for helping their NRI sons or daughters.

Save your Savings! Irrespective of education, qualification, or job profile of your son or daughter, parents should never spend their life’s savings on shifting and settlement of their sons or daughters in a foreign country.

Stay Alert! Senior citizens should never shift to a foreign land in the hope or expectations of the son/ daughter/ relative. They should shift there only because they have some personal requirements to shift abroad.

Otherwise, stay back in your own country.

Why? Because…

Senior citizens will never be independent in a foreign land, without any requirement or help.

Even governments in foreign countries consider senior citizens, shifting to their countries in advanced age, as a big burden on their resources, like medical insurance.

Senior citizens will only be invited to foreign countries by their sons or daughters to help them with the upbringing of newborn babies, as nannies are expensive.

Sometimes, visiting parents silently bear the medical expenses in the delivery of their kid. But once the kids grow up, the parents end up as big financial and emotional burdens for their own sons and daughters.

Ready to Jump? In case of unforeseen circumstances, if any senior citizen ends up shifting to a foreign country, then they should be ready to shift back to their motherland at noticeably short notice. They should always have enough money in hand to be financially independent.

Senior citizens should never hand over their life’s control into the irresponsible hands of their sons and daughters.

Team Explicit Facts has also covered an incredibly unique problem of Widowed Mothers, who are abandoned to die, by their sons and daughter in Part 1 and Part 2.

Conclusion

Do you feel that only NRIs’ parents are abandoned to die?

No!

Young Indians (including NRIs, but with few exceptions) are experts in sucking resources. But once they settle down in a foreign country, they will not blink their eye once before deciding to abandon their parents to die alone.

Old parents are important until they settle down on their own.

In simple language, parents are like closed chapters of maths or history books, which need to be mugged up before exams as if they are the most important task of their lives. But once exams get over, they are forgotten, as if they have never existed.

It is so surprising that a son and daughter fail to remember the love, money, and other resources they have been sucking from their parents from birth till the time they settle in a foreign country as NRIs.

Courtesy – YouTube

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Now before, you leave our website, we are curious.

Why do such incidents of deserted parents happen?

Are parents also somewhere responsible for this situation? If yes, then how?

Share your story with us in the comment section below…. we will be right there with you.

#explicitfiles #explicit_files #explicit-files #abandonedparents #americandream #money #life #parenting

 

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